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Metaphysical Malpractice

It must be what you want because that is what you have!?!

If you have resonated with teachings and lessons regarding attraction and the laws of resonant connection, then you will eventually come up against the application of these learnings in not-so-pleasant ways.  For example, I recently had a student in class ask me if the death of a child was the result of attracting that vibration to her.  This certainly can lead to a ‘blame game’ where we take too much responsibility for events and experiences in our lives.  When we are dealing with the death of a loved one, or something equally traumatic, it can compound the stress of grief and loss.  Too many times, our metaphysical or religious friends, perhaps meaning well but misinformed, will encourage us to consider why this terrible experience was attracted towards us.  It feels as if they are suggesting that we may have caused the problem.  What do you do with that information especially when you believe in the Laws of Attraction and resonance?

How does Vibrational Resonance apply?

The Universe is inclusive not exclusive.  That means that it ‘hears’ what you are sending out and delivers it to you, even if you are saying words like NO or NOT.  You have probably heard this before.  Your subconscious processing is built along the same lines.  When you focus on what you do not want, you get more of it.  When you shift your thinking beyond your sense of lack, or from what you are closely associated with like a disease or illness, you can begin to attract the healing vibrations that you intend.  Sometimes when we don’t fully “get”this aspect (and to be pure in thought on this can seem difficult), we keep attracting what we do not want and give up.  You must pay attention to your thinking!  This requires that you are noticing your thoughts and intentions so that you can unravel your thinking and beliefs about it and become congruent.  Herein lies the confusion.

Applying Vibrational Resonance to a personal disaster seems inappropriate!

Remember this important facet to the equation….  Every moment of every day you are giving meaning to your experiences.  You may be doing it consciously, but for most of us, the unconscious process happens without us noticing.  Thank God!  Who would want to be climbing behind the wheel of a car learning to drive all over again?  We are blessed to know that our system has the ability to memorize things so we don’t have to think it through over and over.

Take your example – the death, tragedy or experience in question.  You are pulling up the meaning for this tragedy or event using this very process.  When you have had experiences in the past, you filed away the biochemical cocktail for it so that when a similar situation arises, you know how to think, feel, believe and act.  Know that when any event happens in your life, including wonderful peak emotional experiences, you are using this process to remember it for next time.  Its a beautiful process!  And it happens easily and naturally with us all.  So, what meaning did you give all of those experiences that are similar to this one that has surfaced?

What meaning did you give it?  

Every experience, within its biochemical makeup, has been assigned a label or meaning.  Perhaps the memory linkage between your experiences of the past has been hooked up in a way – like cross wiring – and your body mind surfaced it due to this similarity.  It could have only a part or piece which has been triggered.   Having experienced devastating loss in my life – the loss of my husband suddenly in a horrendous accident – the loss of my younger brother in a motorcycle accident – I have used this method to understand what about the events have I attracted into my life.  Instead of asking how I might have created the death which leads to blame, guilt, shame and ultimately depression….  I look for the Energetic Equivalent in the situation.

Why should you look for the Energetic Equivalent?

The Energetic Equivalent is that very part or piece that you attracted to you.  It is the “meaning’ piece of the memory which has resurfaced, and in my experience, may have absolutely nothing to do with the actual death, disaster or struggle.  I found that the lessons I have learned around gratefulness and appreciation are examples of gifts I received from that experience.  When I consider all of the support and help I was given, especially during the years following Michael’s death, I have received countless opportunities for learning in these areas which may not have emerged without the event, as horrific as it was.  You have heard people say to look for the Silver Lining?  This is along those lines!  So which part of the situation did you actually attract to you?  Can you look at all of the vibrations moving towards you, not just the ones that overwhelm and trigger you, and see what else is there?  You must pay attention to your thinking!  What is your experience?

What is the Gift in the situation?

Ok, so you can probably, even if it is eventually, come up with some meaning which you can live with.  the Silver Lining!  Sometimes we cast the memory out of our conscious memory banks, allowing it to remain at the cellular level creating blockage.  It seems at the time to be too much for us to handle.  We all do it to some degree.  You want to release it and probably want to know how.  How you can change this is the subject of another article for a different day!  But here are a few tips which work to find the gift if it seems hidden!

Change the meaning to find the gift!

As you witness yourself having this experience, you can notice that the threads of connection to other experiences in the past have something in common.  If you have assigned the same meaning to it, you will hear yourself say “Here we go again…”, “Not this again…”, “This reminds me of…”,  “This happened last time!”, and on and on.  If you go back to the other experiences and change their meaning to something more resourceful for you, you will begin to unravel the connections neurologically.  This is tantamount to changing the past.  As it uncoils and quickens to your present state, you will not feel the same way about your circumstances.  It is as if you have changed the past.  You simply do not feel the same way about it any more.  This incredible sense of spaciousness will allow you to see what you could not previously see.  The gift will be obvious!

I recently talked with my girlfriend Darcy Davis-Beghein from and she shared a phrase she often is reminded about:  “Sometimes a tree is just a tree.”  Things have the meaning you give it.  And it can mean anything you choose!  So pick what works best for you.  Pick meanings to experiences which help you heal, create vitality and health, and improves your well being.

Be willing to consider different meanings for things!

You will be surprised how just having the willingness to consider another view can open your landscape of possibilities.  When you allow yourself to feel curious, when you are willing to consider new meanings for things/events in your life…. you begin to create new neurological connections between other things that might have seemed unrelated.  I learned this the hard way.  I realized several years after Michael’s death that I had wired all of my Happy Thoughts to Loss.  I would think of a lovely experience, a place I had been, a feeling I had, and then remembered that I could no longer have it.  This ultimately led to depression and the inability to think of happy thoughts without feeling sad.  I had wired them together with my thoughts.  I realized that if I could wire them this way, I could also rewire them and connect them to resourceful thoughts of well being, confidence and courage.  It took looking at it from another perspective but started only with my willingfulness to consider there was another route.  As soon as I opened the curiosity door to see what might be available, I began to observe other meanings and experiment with how they made me feel. You must pay attention to your thinking!

Teaching others how to do this and develop these skills has become my passion.  Do you need someone to shine a light on what’s familiar so you can see it from a new perspective?  I help bridge the gap between what you know and what you think you know. Practical.  Simple.  Easy.  Let me help you create space to accelerate healing and reinvent yourself.  Local and distance appointments are available.  When you ask me a question, you are taking the first step of willingfulness to rewire your life!  Email Me Now:

Thank you for listening!

Much love,


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